Re: Depression, Anxiety, PN and emotional journey
Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 9:44 pm
Hi Sunil,
You know I am another "long-termer" although I have had an easier time of it than you, about ten years less, more success with having my life revolve around other things aside from constant pain - but I can definitely relate to the "feeling detached from my body". I have some degree of dissociative disorder and it sounds like you do too - I went for years without knowing it but I found some info online a few years ago including a self-assessment and was shocked at how much dissociative disorder I actually have, since it hasn't really seemed to effect my quality of life. I suggest reading up on it, it is interesting: have you ever been in a conversation and find you have no idea what the other person said, especially noticeable when you ask a question and they answer but you realize you missed their answer? Have you ever due to some unknown trigger been in a social situation with a group and suddenly realized you feel like you are watching from far away, not sure what anybody is saying, trying to kind of claw your way back into your own mind so that you can really hear what somebody is asking you? If so you are probably dissociating regularly which is a post-trauma reaction.
I kind of view my body as lemon car that is constantly breaking down and I can't wait to get a new one - I always say my family has a tendency to live long, often into their 90's, and please God not me too. When i went to the International Pelvic Pain Society Conference last year there were practitioners there promoting "mindfulness meditation" (focused attention) classes and they said the advantage is that pain patients become re-attuned to the idea that their body can still provide pleasant feelings, not just adverse stimuli. That idea sounds interesting...just realized I am late for an appointment and gotta go, whoops!
You know I am another "long-termer" although I have had an easier time of it than you, about ten years less, more success with having my life revolve around other things aside from constant pain - but I can definitely relate to the "feeling detached from my body". I have some degree of dissociative disorder and it sounds like you do too - I went for years without knowing it but I found some info online a few years ago including a self-assessment and was shocked at how much dissociative disorder I actually have, since it hasn't really seemed to effect my quality of life. I suggest reading up on it, it is interesting: have you ever been in a conversation and find you have no idea what the other person said, especially noticeable when you ask a question and they answer but you realize you missed their answer? Have you ever due to some unknown trigger been in a social situation with a group and suddenly realized you feel like you are watching from far away, not sure what anybody is saying, trying to kind of claw your way back into your own mind so that you can really hear what somebody is asking you? If so you are probably dissociating regularly which is a post-trauma reaction.
I kind of view my body as lemon car that is constantly breaking down and I can't wait to get a new one - I always say my family has a tendency to live long, often into their 90's, and please God not me too. When i went to the International Pelvic Pain Society Conference last year there were practitioners there promoting "mindfulness meditation" (focused attention) classes and they said the advantage is that pain patients become re-attuned to the idea that their body can still provide pleasant feelings, not just adverse stimuli. That idea sounds interesting...just realized I am late for an appointment and gotta go, whoops!