Insight into PN/PNE please!

[manda]

Hey everyone

Hope everyone is been well. I am so glad to have found this forum as it has helped me tremendously with understanding and getting answers, however I still have some questions.

I have only one significant symptom that I believe is related to PNE, which is PGAD. I am on the verge of ending my life over this, because on top of this constant arousal feeling, I also have just been diagnosed with OCD. I keep obsessing over the sensations and I can't deal with the uncertainty of not knowing if I will get better and if the treatment will work. That is what OCD does to you, it plays tricks on you which in turn makes me anxious and depressed which means my PGAD can't get better.

Here is a quick breakdown of my health issues that may have lead to PN/PNE damage.

-Eating disorder when I was young around 8 years old that lasted for about 5 years (signs of anxiety) - everytime I smell or saw food, I would feel naesous and want to vomit
-Drug use during teenage years for about 3 years but have stopped now
- I had an abortion at the age of 18 years old
- 2009, got my first office job which resulted in prolonged sitting, developed sciatica in both legs, however flipped my mattress so its more firm for my back and also got a foot rest which alleviated the leg and it went away
- lack of exercise and activity (oh how us humans love to take our health for granted sometimes)
- bad posture with a forward neck
- sclerosis at a young age, wore a hip brace and now the spine is curved but within an ok degree range
- in 2009, also suffered a trauma where i just developed OCD and i was obsessing over germs and infecting someone i loved dearly with a disease I dont have, was so panicked and paranoid
- also diagnosed with an over active thyroid which is under control now after medication of neo-mercazole
- took lexapro only for a one month to control anxiety along with omega 3s and magnesium but PGAD symptoms started before

Ultimately, I think the main cause of PGAD starting is because of excessive/frequent masturbation which has damaged or inflammed the nerve somehow. The arousal usually lasts awhile but usually I just learn to cope with it or suppress the feeling and just get on with life. However, I was experience high social anxiety and I did not do my meditation and breathing exercises in April in 2014. I started masturbating and I couldnt stop all night, I just kept doing it cus I felt so anxious with my life I didn't know how to cope. I wish I had woken up that night, did some breathign exercises or went for a walk and go to sleep but now I have been feeling this constant arousal that I can't stop thinking about.

Other PGAD symptoms
--feel a burning sensation on the outside of vulva (only recently started)
- also when I massage the clit to try get relief, i can feel a nerve spasm and just shake inside but no relief
- I also used to get relief from standing and walking but now i can even feel the sensations still, it feels like it is rubbing or there is friction. I can feel it in my legs and my arms and chest and it makes me want to vomit when i feel this
- i also used to hold in my urine so I wouldnt feel aroused, it felt like it was pushing on the nerve to stop spasm but now it feels uncomfortable to hold in the pee

This always tends to flare up when I about to go on holidays as I'm scared I won't have fun and I will constantly feel aroused as its all I think about. Last time it happened before I flew to Thailand but I was okay when I settled in. However, this time feels more severe/different. I just want to be happy again for my partner.

I am starting to lose hope and I keep having panic attacks which make it hard for me to eat as it has caused a loss of appetite. I feel like I cant enjoy spending time with my family or fiancee and I dont want to socialise with my friends anymore. I feel like even when I talk either face to face or on the phone, my body tenses up and my PGAD symptoms flare up which is making me feel so unwell. Is this normal? Also, do you think it has to do with my hormones? (eg. dophamine/serotonin). or Do you think I damaged my nerves more? What do you think?

I know there is still a lot of avenues to consider to fix this problem, but I don't know where to start.
I am so sorry for the long post but I just wanted to get as much information as I could so it effectively gets my situation across.

Thank you

Amanda

[Mod8]

Hi Amanda,

Do you live in Australia? We have a PNE specialist in Sydney who deals with PGAD and the various other symptoms of PN. Prof. Thierry Vancaillie and his physiotherapist Sheryn Jarvis.
Don't be afraid to see a good PN specialist in the country where you live. Listed on the left side of home page on this forum.

[Violet M]

Amanda, I agree with Catherine that maybe a specialist would be able to help you determine whether you have a diagnosis of pudendal neuralgia accompanying your PGAD and from there you might be able to find the right treatment. Also, it might be helpful if you read our newsletter on PGAD if you haven't already. Go to the homepage at pudendalhope.org and click on the June 2013 newsletter from the left hand menu. The newsletter discusses some treatments that might give you some relief.

Violet