A-Z of pain - amusing

[Amanda]

A is for agony
Butt's burning boo-hoo
C is for cursing
Damn things i can't do

E is for eek
Frigging sure i'm on fire
Gee get a grip
Hell must be more dire

I is for ice
Just freeze it be jolly
K is for kicks
Love to lie on a lolly

M is for moaning
Nerve's niggling again
O is for ouch
Pudendal such a pain

Q is for quandary
Ruddy wish i could rest
S is for sitting
Too torturous to test

U is unrelenting
Vexation in vain
W is wanting
Xperts to xplain

Y is the yearning
Yes wait it will come
Z is the zone
Zero pain in the bum!

[Violet M]

Do you know the author of this, Amanda? It is brilliant!!

[Amanda]

The poem was written by a daughter of a PN patient and her name was Jan
I used to correspond with her many years ago and luckilly had filed this poem as I found it very funny.

Amanda

[GraceUnderFire]

LOL!!!! This gave me a good laugh, and that is a good thing!!!

Thanks so much for sharing

Blessings,
Grace

[Mod8]

"Working Where The Sun Don't Shine" (The Colorectal Surgeon's Song)

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!

Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!

[florabunda]

MEDICAL TERMS

Benign...............What you be after you be eight
Artery................The study of paintings
Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria
Barium...............What doctors do when patients
Catscan..............Searching for Kitty
Cauterize............Made eye contact with her
Colic................A sheep dog
Coma............A punctuation mark
Dilate...............To live long
Duct Tape...........Suture on a roll
Enema............Not a friend
Fester............Quicker than someone else
Fibula............A small li
Hangnail............What you hang your coat on
Impotent................Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain...............Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.............A Doctor's cane
Morbid..................A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates
Node.................I knew it
Outpatient..........A person who has fainted
Pap Smear...........A fatherhood test
Pelvis.....................Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative..............A letter carrier
Recovery Room............Place to do upholstery
Rectum.................Damn near killed him
Secretion.............Hiding something
Seizure..............Roman emperor
Tablet....................A small table
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport
Tumor................More than one
Urine.............Opposite of you're out
Varicose...........Near by/close by

[Amanda]

Thanks Mod 8 and Florabunda


Wow i have laughed so much tonight reading your posts....great medicine to laugh!!!!

Keep them coming please.........!!!!!

[Amanda]

I thought this topic should be moved to current times